Shifting Tears

 

 

It has now been six months since the loss of my dear friend Dani. She left us way too soon. My heart continues to ache for her friendship, but something is shifting. Slowly I have noticed that the ache has begun to turn into a feeling of gratitude, still heavy and full of tears but there is a different tone now.  I feel gratitude that for a short while here in Nassau I was blessed with the friendship of an amazing woman. I only had three years with her but she impacted my life so very much. And now I find that even in her death she continues to impact who I am and how I go about doing what I do. I am blessed to have been her friend and I find myself blessed even in mourning. She has challenged me to live my life more intentionally and to see the good in others as she was able to do.  In short while I desperately wish her back here in physical form, I remain determined to continue to find the benefits of what she has left behind. Dani was a gift to many who knew her and one I am forever grateful to God for giving to me.

 

 

Shine on my friends, you will never know your full impact

Allie

No More "Not Enough "

 Life often tells us we are not enough. We can never do enough and will never be enough. This message is heard over and over again. A debilitating and paralyzing statement to hear and one that causes us much damage, my self included.

But I was reminded this morning that God not only has given us an Enough through Jesus; God is guarding our Enough, He fills our heart with His Spirit of enough, he guards our heart with enough, and he credits us with His enough. He loves us because we are now Enough!

 

This was a much needed moment of clarity for me today but as I was reading and praying, many of my friends, family and clients came to mind and I realized, this is most of our stories. Most of us

walk around with a never enough label, a label that brings us down, destroys our hope and causes us to despair. Today, I was reminded that God, because of my status as His, not only thinks I am enough but promises to guard this for me so that nothing can take it away. 

 

Did you hear that? Nothing can take away our enough. Not the critical looks from someone at church that thinks I am not doing enough or the right enough. Not the questions that I cannot answer from someone desperate for a solution. Not even the  worst bully of all, the eyes of the girl in the mirror who tells me you will never be enough because I am not like other people. My Enough is untouchable, not matter what. Today, I want to live like I am enough because God has reminded me I am.

 

I have copied two translations for you to enjoy.. then look up your own!

Have a day where you know God is guarding your enough!

 

1 Peter 1:3-9

A New Life (from the message)

 

^3-5 What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole.

^6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

^8-9 You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.

Praise to God for a Living Hope (NIV)

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Why did the world not stop?

My coffee cup rises to hide my tear stained face as the car goes by. I suppose I could have chosen to keep my grief inside on the couch but my home is already too full of strewn tissues and tear stained pillows. This morning I mourn outside. I refuse to let my grief shelter me from the world. Well today I do. Maybe not yesterday and maybe not tomorrow but today I choose to move.

The slight breeze cools the tears as they fall, refreshing my hot puffy eyes. The bird's relentless worship takes no notice of my sobs, or do they? The traffic regularly and with routine drives by without notice of the one of the porch having one of the more intense few days of her life.

How does the world continue when I know there are so many people this very minute feeling so intensely? How does it keep moving when so many of us are forced to stop by the load of pain given to us by this hurting world? Does it not know that we hurt? We feel like we can't go on? Why did the world not stop?

Sadly, it our pain is not new to the world, it is only new to us. This moment, this pain is only new to me.

 I am both offended and yet comforted by the fact that the world is continuing  Offended that it has not stopped the very second my heart burst with the pain of losing such a dear friend  and then I realize if it stopped completely the pain would consume me. The breeze would have to stop and my tears would continue to burn my eyes instead of refresh them. The birds' worship would stop and I would not be reminded between sobs that there is a  creator. The heaviness of my pain would not be broken into by the bird songs  reminding me that there is something bigger, someone bigger that has got me in this. The world kept going for a reason.

Pain happens. Pain hurts and it is all too real. But the world continues and what at first appears like a big cosmic slap in the face turns out to be the therapeutic rhythm of a world that knows pain but keeps moving so we are not consumed by the pain. Our creator has chosen to help us move through the tragic parts of life by keeping His world going.

I almost missed that today as I hid behind my coffee mug. I almost stayed in the despair but the breeze, the birds and the traffic as observed from my front porch, told me different.  Yes our pain is real and it is devastating but God has ordered this world to keep moving so we do not get consumed by it all together.

I will continue to be in pain for a while, I will continue to cry and sob and wonder, but God will continue to minister to me through his people and world doing very ordinary things in extraordinary ways. I am thankful for this rhythm.


Dani, I already miss you reading my blogs, I miss your comments, I miss your smile and I miss your heart. Your  death has stopped my world and it will not be the same without you. But I will continue to move forward with your friendship etched my heart to work and live in a hurting world, because everyone needs to know they count. I hope you know that now my dear friend.
Allie

Choosing an Audience: Turtle Back Publishing News #8

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Turtle Back Publishing

Choosing an Audience. Most stores I converse with about my book ask the same questions. Who is this book written for?  Who is the intended audience? Age, gender, culture, situation, and topics all play a huge part in determining to whom you should be targeting in the stores. Valid questions for marketing  but is it really necessary to know your audience for the writing process itself? I know in previous newsletters I have suggested you write only for yourself, and I am still standing by that. If you begin your process of writing just for the sake of impressing others your writing will lack passion and sincerity. The readers will see through your scheme to appease them and in the end fail to engage with your book.  BUT if you are serious about putting your book out for publication then you must (unless you are okay with your books not selling or being noticed) you must engage in the process of knowing your audience in your writing process as well. I would suggest to any writers to write their story with only themselves in mind at first. Then after your first few drafts when the characters are more fully developed and plot lines make sense then turn to the point of view of the readers, and edit your story accordingly.            In terms of story, the only audience I have in mind is me. I’m very much aware that I can’t please everyone when it comes to story, so I might as well try to please myself. But in terms of communication with the reader, I am very aware of the audience.                 Readers can’t hear my tone of voice or watch my expressions; a sheet of white paper and a series of little black marks is all they have                   – and via that sheet of paper and series of little black marks I need to convey an entire universe, I need to make characters who breath. I can’t do that without bearing the audience in mind."  - Celine Kiernan     In the end your book is about communicating with a reader. If you do not speak their language you will fail to communicate, it is that simple. Write with the story in mind, revise with the audience in view. Write on my friends! Allie     We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well.     Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish. "A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest." C.S Lewis

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Why writers need discipline. Turtle Back News #7

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Turtle Back Publishing

Why writers need discipline Discipline: for most this word brings a strong reaction. Images of a  Drill Sargent barking commands, leaving no option but to obey or face consequences. How does writing require discipline? Does writing not depend upon a person's inspired mind to create new worlds and share new ideas with their readers?  How can one possibly force creativity into a place of discipline? The very idea seems counter-intuitive. Most writers fear if they force their writing, it will become stale and lack a genuine voice. Is it even possible to write with inspiration within the parameters of discipline? I think the question to ask instead should be, how to allow discipline to inspire your writing? Because lets face it, if you don't sit down to put words to paper, you aren't writing, no matter how inspired you may feel.  In order to achieve this, the word discipline needs a new tone, a newer meaning. Discipline needs to stop being a method to force yourself  into doing that what is difficult. Discipline, for a writer needs to become a method through which  a space is formed. A space where you allow yourself to put that which has taken shape in your mind onto paper in a readable manner.    "You need three things to become a successful novelist: talent, luck and discipline. Discipline is the one element of those three things that you can control, and so that is the one that you have to focus on controlling, and you just have to hope and trust in the other two."  — Michael Chabon   Discipline is essential in the writing process. The more I write the more I am convinced of this. Discipline in writing means, identifying  your distractions and eliminating things that while important do not need to be that minutes priority. Discipline is protecting your space by  carving out time in your schedule to write, no matter what. Discipline is sitting with a blank paper knowing it it will only get filled one word at a time, then taking the risk to write the first word. Discipline is taking the time to edit, rethink, rewrite, throw away and start over. Discipline is getting feedback when the last thing you want to hear is that your writing could be improved. Discipline allows your words to form into something beautiful, from the raw material in your head. Most writers have "real" lives that sadly demand our attention more than our writing does. Discipline for those of us, who have to push hard to find the time to write is essential most of all. Too many things become more important  and while I believe that writing is not the total purpose for myself on this planet, I also believe that is essential enough to ensure I have the time to do so.   Guard your time, and do not be afraid to become more disciplined. Write on my friends!     We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well.     Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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Inside the Shell: Future talent discovered. Turtle Back Publishing #6

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Turtle Back Publishing

Future Talent Discovered   I have been honored to help out at Kpace Afterschool Learning Program a couple times. I first visited this group during my book the author event for approximately 60 eager students grades 2-6. As usual I loved it but there was something different with this group, they were hungry to create something. Noticing the inspiration, Darcy Moss, the amazing director of this program came up with the idea of a creating a writing contest for the children. Rules were established and deadlines were set, I came back a second time to introduce the contest.  I even suggested my favorite way of creating a cover for a book. Take an empty cereal box (and yes I did stress the word empty) and cut a seam open. Fold the box back gently and on the inside you have a blank cardboard surface on which to create a cover, spine and back. The children's eyes were on fire with ideas and thoughts, I left that day wondering just how many cereal boxes were about to be destroyed for the greater literary good and prayed they remembered to ask their parents before doing so.  Last week, Darcy and I got together to "judge" the books, we laughed out loud at a few and yes I got a bit teary with others knowing the context from which the story was being told. Children innately come up with the best and most unique way to tell a story and these books were proof! They were a gift to read. On Wednesday April 10th- the winners were announced; sadly I was otherwise engaged as I would have loved to be in the room for that moment.    I would love to introduce you to the overall winner, Malani Oliver and the winner for best artwork Kendal Pierre. They both received a gift bag of prizes (one of which was an autographed copy of I Can't Sleep- of course) Darcy was able to make sure all who entered received a prize for their efforts; I told you she was fabulous! Stay tuned to Turtle Back Publishing  I would guess that in the next 10 years or so you might find one of these young authors/illustrators at work on a book with us!                                                                                   We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well.   Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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What inspires you? Inside the Shell: Turtle Back Publishing Newsletter #5

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Turtle Back Publishing

What inspires your writing? I am so curious about this question. I have been asked it many times but believe I give different answers almost every time according to the writing in reference. So I have challenged myself to seek that which primarily inspires me.  Here is my long complicated answer that in the end I think still circles the question with too many responses.   Inspiration for me,comes from my faith, that I am not alone in this world, that I belong to something bigger than  myself, that I am loved. I find inspiration in the beauty of this world and the complex way in which we relate to those around us and make sense of those we have not yet met. People's stories inspire me, we are all so different and yet in the same world, getting to know their perspective inspires me. I love the way people interact with the world. I love sitting back and wondering in the grand scheme of things what am I missing? I love elevating the simple things of life to the profound by suggesting meaning in the very action of the mundane. See, I told you there is no quick answer.  I guess in a nutshell I love the process I go through when I write. Mostly, my inspiration comes from the process of writing itself. The process of making clear the foggy in my mind, in finding purpose in things, the clarifying of ideas. I love the energy I get from writing and the satisfaction of clicking save when I am finished.  The struggle to find words, to move sentences and to create images by arranging letters of the alphabet into words, sentences and ideas.   My question to you is this: "Do you know what inspires you?" What sends a surge of creative energy through your body when you take the time to enjoy it or the thought of it? I think it is a vital question to any writer, the task of sitting to write is not enjoyable without inspiration. If you are failing to find your inspiration, stop and take the time to find your it. Your writing will thank you. shine on my friends Allie We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well.   Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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The egocentricity of a Writer. Inside the Shell: Turtle Back Publishing Newsletter #4

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Turtle Back Publishing Newsletter

The Egocentricity of a Writer  I believe to be a writer one must be somewhat egocentric because in the moment of our writing we feel, whether true or not, that we are creating something that no one has ever before put to paper. Writers must  believe; the idea coming to life through their pen is a true original, and something that will make people think like they never have before. Writers, myself included, tend towards egocentricity believing we can change the world or at the very least interrupt the readers lives with our very words. But I am questioning this lately. Does my writing need to touch more than myself?  I would like to claim that I write, not because I am self-important because there is something within me that needs to take shape so I can better understand it, and if others benefit (should I publish) then that is a bonus. Writing just to sound good, important or unique is not appealing to me. However, either way I look at it, writing for me always begins with a process within myself, and therefore is egocentric and  introspective. But just as the process starts,there  it can also end. It does it have to end in world change. No, not in the slightest, you know why? Because the change that should be sought after first  should be the change that occurs in myself  as I edit, revise and clarify my ideas. I should come away from my work somewhat altered. If I am not, how can I expect the readers to be so moved?  Egocentricity, in the way that that an idea needs to be ruminated, played with and sought after is important to writing. Once however the process is done, check your ego at the door, no one needs to be moved, touched or altered by your words but you -to believe differently would be to set yourself up for disappointment. So write, clarify and ponder all you can, you will benefit from it, but ensure it is a product you want others to interact with before you put it out for publication.  Allie We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well.   Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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Inside the Shell: Watching Idea Grow

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Watching Ideas Grow: The best part about being an author. If someone had asked me this time last year what my favorite part of being an author was, I would have answered, seeing my words come to life on paper. Ask me now, 8 months after my book has been released, and my answer will be different. Yes, I love that my words and ideas are on paper in a book, that is beyond thrilling, but the best part of being an author is interacting with the readers and watching their ideas grow. I am often in front of an audience reading and talking about my book to schools, clubs, and organizations. When I talk, I always have time for questions, many of the questions I field from the smaller children go like this; "Can you write a book about a ...?" My favorite one was, "Can you write a book about a dog that jumped the fence in a thunderstorm and landed in his neighbors yard and his family had to go find him?" (run on sentence intended ) My answer to that question, No I can't but you can, because I think that is your story and you need to tell it. See once they meet an actual author of a book and understand that she is just a regular person like them, their ideas start to flow. Their ideas begin to grow from thought to paper. I believe adults, if they felt comfortable, would ask these questions as well. Sadly it is usually only the children that are brave enough to ask such great questions. My favorite part of being an author is being the example that your words, and yes even the crazy parts of your life can be put to paper. Watching ideas grow is inspiring to me and never fails to make me smile. I write because I have stories, I speak to groups and people because I love watching ideas grow. Shine on my friends Allie We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well. Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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Inside the Shell: Turtle Back Publishing Newsletter #2

Turtle Back Publishing The most common thing I hear as an author. "I have always wanted to write a book" Whenever I get a chance to interact with people as an author, there is one comment, I hear more than most; "I have always wanted to write."  It is often told to me in confidence, some sort of secret hidden desire that the world cannot know. The person saying this phrase often has a look about them or says out loud they doubt their ability to write. "I have an idea but it won't be good enough for a book"  is the message I repeatedly hear. It seems to me that people have the idea that their story is only worth something if other people think it is. That is simply not true. Your story is always worth something, why, because it is your story. The question you are really asking is, "can you market it and get people to buy it as a book" and to be honest, that is not the reason why you should write. You should write your story because there is power in the telling. There is a greater appreciation to be gained for your own story in finding the words to accurately describe it. One should never write a book just to try to sell it; unless you have a huge established fan club, your book will flop. So what do I tell people when I hear them say "I have always wanted to write" Write! tell your story, fall in love with your story, admire it, appreciate the lessons your own story teaches you. Write! you will be amazed at what is inside! Friends.. write your story- it is good, because it is yours! Shine on my friends Allie We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well. Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.  follow on Twitter | friend on Facebook | forward to a friend  Copyright © 2012, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: turtlebackpublishing@live.com

Inside the Shell: Turtle Back Publishing Newsletter #1

Hi Friends! No I have not forgotten about my blog, but I have discovered that when you write a book, once it is done, you really do not get a chance to write much more as you are too busy talking about writing! Needless to say I have missed this forum. But in the meantime  I thought I could post my new writing format, Turtle Back Publishing's Newsletter: Inside the Shell. Here is the inaugural mailing! enjoy and sign up if you are interested in receiving these tidbits of encouragement! Turtle Back Publishing

Turtle Back Publishing has a new way to connect with you! Our first Newsletter Turtle Back Publishing has begun a newsletter! With all the social media hype and push towards creating fans we felt that while those fan lists are important we also wanted a more meaningful way to connect with you. Hence, the newsletter. These updates will be weekly at most and will include not only reports from us about what our company is doing but also tips and fun creative ideas to help you develop your love for writing, storytelling and illustrating.  We want to hear from you! Be sure to send us questions or ideas you have and we will try to include those in our upcoming newsletters. Remember these newsletters are only for those who sign up for it, so share this newsletter with a friend, family member or colleague so they can sign up as well. Turtle Back Publishing is owned and operated by the MacPhail family, Turtle Back Publishing is a total family operation. From the initial conception of a book all way to the marketing and distribution, Turtle Back Publishing is proud of every book they publish.

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