Sunday, November 11, 2012

Waiting for the Anvil to Drop.

The last weekend of October found me in South Florida, at a Women of Faith conference with some of the most amazing women in my life, but I was flinching. I was flinching because I was waiting for the figurative cartoon anvil to drop from the sky onto my head. It is an anvil that God has used before to catch my attention and get me thinking differently. It is an anvil that leaves quite a mark on my life. It is an anvil that God has to use often on a stubborn, stuck in her own way of thinking kind of girl like me. I knew there was one with my name on it and I was waiting for it to drop, holding my breath and wondering what it would mean when it did.

Traditionally, well traditionally in cartoons, anvils are suspended in air until the unsuspecting  Road Runner, walks under the contraption, after which it is let go by the Coyote and BAM the Coyote has procured  his now flattened dinner. Well, in my life, the anvil is not dropped maliciously but rather intentionally.  Once I have been hit, my world cannot stay the same. I will be forced to change. With God being the Coyote in this rather crude analogy the anvil then has a good purpose but the anvil drop still hits with a huge BAM in my life. 

Case in point; The first Women of Faith event for me was at the end of 2009, during which I knew that my husband was entertaining a call to the Bahamas, one that I was NOT in favor of. I went to the conference with hesitation  no way did I want to hear from God. I was good the way I was thank you very much, no need to move me. I sat in the conference fighting this thought entirely. BAM. God said Allie, at least start to consider this, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
While I would never have been able verbalize this  at the time, it was that weekend, that I began to even contemplate the idea of moving countries, leaving family and friends and giving up my practice. BAM. 

So this year I went, wondering just what I was to hear, what kind of anvil was I going to be hit with, please Lord.. do not let it be that much change again.. please.
 History suggests, okay Allie's history says Anvils come from women's conferences, be aware. Okay I was. But the circumstances that surrounded my group getting there made me very aware that this anvil was going to be big! From Hurricane Sandy causing my Bahamian friends (or the majority of them) to be  unable to travel, to the very strange reasons for plane delays from my Canadian friends to a huge transponder in South Florida blowing up next to me when I was in a restaurant waiting for my group, plunging us and the whole of three blocks into massive darkness. I was left only watching and waiting for something big that was about to drop on my head. I could not even guess what it was.

So I waited. In the conference I literally was holding my breath when a new speaker took the  stage, I thought for sure this was it but the anvil never dropped.It was not until mid way through the second  and last day of the conference that I began to realize what was happening. 

My fearless group leader and awesome friend Diana!
I realized that the anvil this time was not in the form of a giant cartoon metal object that was going to drastically change my life direction, this time it was in the form of a gentle whisper from God. Reminding me, I was his, telling me of his love for me. Reinforcing in me a faith so deep I cannot find the words to accurately write about it. 
It was a resonating of my heart to His; that was the anvil. Not the pulsating ache of a life to be drastically  altered. What joy that was, what peace. I had  struggled since the move to Nassau with keeping Joy and there is was, God reminding me I had it. 

Meeting the woman whose music heals my heart! Mandisa!

Gentle whispers are harder to hear. The roar of the crowd distracted  me. The circumstances that tried to prevent all of us from being there distracted me and made me look for a  giant message waiting to plummet downwards towards me at impossible speeds. But this anvil, was found in God's quite but powerful whisper. It was one that was only noticed when I found stillness midst the roaring crowd of the conference. 

Life lesson? even people like me who tend to take on life at breakneck speed need to stop and listen for the quiet whisper from the One who has your life in His hands. It is in those moments when you hear His whisper that your soul will resonate with His and you will know that you are loved. Stop looking for huge anvil messages, the most power ones are often waiting for you in the quite moments of life.

Shine on my friends and if you sense an anvil is heading your way, don't duck He knows what he is doing!